Want to be THAT girl/guy? You know, the one that's always dressed right, the center of conversations, the one that gets invited everywhere! You can be him/her- Now you too can get all the jokes and never be sidelined again! Why would you want to be the one in the corner when you could be the star of every show, every time? Follow these instructions, and you should be there in no time ! :)
Conversations-
1. Only discuss 'patriotic' things- Football (not soccer), tailgating and those immigrants that ruin your life.
2. Forget absolute truth. The only important facts are the ones that work in your favor.
3. Smile often, however meaningless. If possible, fling yourself at people at intervals and hug them randomly.
Looks-
4. Spend all your available hours online, 'researching' the latest colors and trends. It helps to just buy everything on the 'look' in a single purchase. Plus, free shipping!
5. Gym mindlessly. Tell people you run. Run because it is popular. All these things are much more effective than doing something you might actually enjoy.
6. Count calories. But go to Tim Horton's anyway- how can you not hang out with the guys/ chicks?
Personality-
7. Reference #1. Don't waste your time trying to figure out what you like or who you are. What does that matter?
8. Drink often. Or just get drunk often. It helps you fit in at the tailgating parties.
9. Read the reviews. When discussing books/movies/ art, it helps to be able to say what everyone else is thinking.
10. Complete selflessness. Your personal mantra- I am what is in today, I am what is popular, I am merely a vessel for your greater thoughts, O Latest Trends.
2 comments:
Haha! Can't stop giggling over this :)
Hilarious. Reminds me of how long it has been since i havent visited. #3 Smile meaningless, fling yourself at people at intervals hahahaha
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