Spotting the rainbows

I know he isn't always right, he can be very judgmental and he's biased in his opinions of me. Nonetheless, the bond between us is stronger than most others in my life, and in the lives of others I know. And so I still ask his opinion, question myself over his critique. When the adult, logical woman knows he is wrong, the child in me craves approval, is a little afraid of losing this tie because of his opinions, and I want, more than necessary, to prove my point, convince him of the other side of things.

So when this person claimed to be younger at heart than I am, it turned into an instant competition in my head. For him, it is likely a conclusion that he has arrived at after many judgments over many instances that I brushed off as too casual, and the statement itself, cast off just as easily, is not even something worth arguing about, because there is nothing I could possibly say that would convince him otherwise.

Only time, I tell myself as I hold my tongue. Only time, and life's experiences, will convince him otherwise. The contest remains, though, in my head. And for the last two days, I have pondered the meaning of childhood, and being young at heart.

Does it mean not being careful with things like health and money? Eating badly because only boring old people fuss over healthy foods and exercise? Is it a refusal to move forward in life- avoiding romance, marriage, and adult conversations about life choices- is refusing the trappings of adulthood a sign of being young at heart?

To me, being an adult and a child have much in common. Both are about walking into dark mazes, sticky situations, jumping off giant walls- and finding your way out, testing your skills and knowing that you can, that there is always a happy ending when your mom yells out the door to come in, the day's play is over and its time for dinner with the family.

Being young at heart is the ability to see life as an endless game, and in the end everyone really does win. The playgrounds change as one grows older, but the games are the same. 'Adults' are only the people who have forgotten that at the end of the game, the cops and robbers, pirates and kidnapped princesses, all link arms and go home as friends. That the scary enemies surrounding your besieged fortress are only friends waving sticks in the dusk. The crocodile who will not let you cross the golden river unless you give him a certain color? He's a friend too, all he wants is that you have the right perspective, and spot the solutions hidden in the kaleidoscope of colors that can confuse you in times of stress.

The difference between an adult and a child is in perception. When the child sees the rainbow on the sidewalk, the adult only sees an oil leak from someone's car. The Real Adult admires the rainbow, feels a little thrill at knowing the physics of refraction and angles of light, remembers to tell their neighbor to check their car, and walks home.

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So who is younger at heart- him or I? It is no longer a contest, only a difference in perspective. I still don't understand the reason for his statement, nor the necessity of it. But I am, for now, more comfortable with who I am, the way I am growing up, growing older.)

Here and there

I say,
There are other places words prefer,
Where they flow more freely, settle in more easily
Grow deeper roots, send up brighter blooms
Spaces fertile with events and ideas.

The other only whispers-
Stay, please stay.
Will the words of others keep you happy?
Would you care for new friends, Jincy Willett or the Age of Wonder?
Or old loves, we could visit them too, if you like.
Enid Blyton and Pablo Neruda?

As we argue, words hide in the crevices,
Out of the crossfire, or perhaps
They're only the shadows shifting,
And the words left long ago.

Let's start at the very beginning..

After all, its a very good place to start- When you read you begin with ABC, so why not attack writers block with an ABC as well :). So here's my first meme:

Here are the "rules":
Link the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share the ABCs of you.
Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag! (Very Important One!) - Ah, possibly the toughest clause of all !:)

And the meme:

A – Available/Single? - Single, no. Available- depends on what I'm expected to be available for.

B – Best friend? - Uh,me? Tying as top choices- me, my mom, certain books, a few cherished people..

C – Cake or Pie? - Cake :)

D – Drink of choice? - Hm, depends on the time and the mood. Coffee at midnight during deadlines, martinis for breakfast on certain occasions!

E – Essential item you use every day? – A smile, probably..

F – Favorite colour? - The sky- Sunrise pink, sunset orange, white and blue and gray and everything else!

G – Gummy Bears or Worms? - Neither.. but if you held a gun to my head to choose, I'd pick the worms, I think.

H – Hometown – 'vasudhaiva kutumbakam' !

I – Indulgence? – Haagen-Dazs rum raisin ice cream, chick flicks and chinese food.. all in one evening.

J – January or February? - Wedding anniversary, my first trip to Paris..it's got to be February!

K – Kids & their names? - None so far. I'm toying with Priyangumanjari and Katyayani- if you have similarly dramatic suggestions for names, leave them in the comments please :)

L – Life is incomplete without? - Achieving what makes you deep-down happy.

M – Marriage date? - Those who ought to remember should manage it without the reminder here ;)

N – Name? Your real name!! - What do you think it is? :) One of my favorite 'quotes' on names is here..

O – Oranges or Apples? - Oranges

P – Phobias/Fears? - I can frighten myself with almost anything if I start imagining it, so the list probably spans the entire dictionary!

Q – Quote for today? - "What we have here is failure to communicate!"

R – Reason to smile? - Must I have a reason? After all, 'sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, and sometimes your smile is the source of your joy"

S – Season? - Fall

T – Tag 3 People? – Dew drops, Rain, and NV !

U – Unknown fact about me? - Uh, if I knew it wouldn't be unknown.

V – Vegetable you don’t like? - Not that I don't like them, but I've always wondered about the reason for artichokes..

W – Worst habit? – Hmm.. over-analysing things? A short temper and a sharp tongue? Needing to know the end of all stories, and it better be a satisfying one? Indecisiveness? Not knowing when to stop listing my faults?

X – X-rays? - Twice, and the dental ones were the worse of the two times.

Y – Your favorite food? - Street food in India- Pani puri, sev puri, chinese at the roadside laari.. and round it off with matka kulfi !

Z – Zodiac sign? - Leo