This simple thing

You say you are afraid, like no-one else. You are more unsure than you have ever been. You are depressed, like never before. You turn to me with these things: fear. lack of confidence. mistrust. sadness. anger. doubt. unhappiness.

I think, in these conversations you seek: comfort. reassurance. healing. confidence.

And here I think to myself, perhaps you want to hear that you are not so alone. That countless others have felt this way, even though you feel like the first. I could whip my own angst-ridden words out, the ones I never hit publish on. I could tell you I know what it is like to hear dark voices in your mind all day long. I could tell you of the way this darkness coats my mind even as I smile and network and write, through days and nights and weeks.

In my impatience, all I want to tell you is -- none of the above. Just this, what I tell myself: Get over it. You're not the first or the last to have felt this way. And there are better things you could do than coddle these emotions.

But I'm trying, instead to remember this: Perhaps you are not the first to be in this space. But perhaps this is not what you want to hear. Perhaps you like being alone in your fear, cradling it like the only thing you can feel close to. Perhaps you do not seek comfort or healing. Perhaps you do. I'm not you, and don't know.

But this know for sure: For me, this moment is a time to learn to be kind. To listen softly, in the now, to how you feel. If only I can learn to silence the voice in my head that says: Been there done that. Move on. If only I could move on too, from these simple lessons.