Worth it

Thinking about words is what I do for a living. It's also what I do when I'm not working. And I never tire of asking people to choose their words carefully.

Mean what you say. Intent, I find, is easy. Most people don't intend to be hurtful, thoughtless, silly, etc. However, most of us also don't make sure that our words reflect our true intent, which is often caring, affection or simply a friendly exchange.

Here's an example:

"That's expensive! What do you get for [that much money]?" -- asking for information about the object.

"That's expensive! Is it worth it?" -- asking for an opinion; open to the idea that maybe it is worth the expense.

"That's expensive! Do you really think it's worth it?" -- asking for an opinion; the "really" inserts a hint that the questioner's opinion is perhaps that it's too much money.

"That's expensive! I don't think it's worth it."  -- expresses an opinion

Have you ever used one when you really meant another?

Before you pick an option, know whether you want to know the features of a pricey purchase, or whether you merely want to express your view that it's too expensive.

The words you choose are worth it. As a corollary, the words you hear matter just as much. Take the time to know what they mean. Is the other person requesting information or dissing your choices? Ask, listen, understand.

And if this seems like too much work for a casual chat, create -- or find -- a conversation that deserves the effort. That might mean changing how or what you communicate, or it might mean finding someone else to talk to. Either way, it's worth it.