Get the coffee to go

Show me a person who's good at "networking", and at least half the time you can be sure you're looking at someone who has learnt how to talk to themselves in private- In parking lots, restroom stalls, broom closets and for those lucky enough to have them, office with doors that close (and aren't made of glass).

What they say to themselves you may never know, and it would be rather self-defeating to spend this post telling you what I tell myself before I must do this thing called being nice to people I don't know very well. Instead, for my own reference and possibly yours, a list of things to remember (this may or may not be the list you read to yourself before you open that door) about networking, in no particular order:

• Note from an incredibly wise person, read by twelve-year-old-me, paraphrased from memory: "Introversion is a form of a vanity. It means you spend more time thinking about yourself and your reactions than you do about other things/people."  
• Networking isn't about "putting yourself out there". It's about opening the doors so other people can step in if they choose. 
• Most people love to talk about themselves (introverts included. We're often the worst offenders). Ask about them. Learn who they are. Genuinely want to know this other person.
• Just for a while, forget your frame of reference. Know them from their shoes. When they offer a bit of themselves, receive it gracefully. Graciously. Not with, "Oh, interesting, because I feel the same way/disagree/think that..". Just "Interesting, tell me more about.."
• When they feel comfortable, they will want to know you too, this person they have let in. Then you have a connection that works- a "network" of two, if you will. 
• Networking is about believing that just for a little while, you have a dream that is strong enough to push you past the limits you've set for yourself. You have to "want to fly so much that you're willing to give up being a caterpillar." Yes, it hurts, and so what? And yes, your dream may crash and die tomorrow. But for now, it is here and alive, so give it a chance.
• Networking is about knowing that you, the you that wants whatever it is you're reaching for, is (most likely) going to be in a better place than the you that would rather curl up on the couch with the ice-cream. 
• Sometimes, before you take that call/ pick up the phone/ answer that email/ open the door to the meeting room, networking is just about telling yourself to just do this now, and tomorrow, tomorrow you can get the coffee to go and not speak to a soul, and today will be just fine.