My email inbox overflows with compliments. Some are delicately phrased critique of samples, others are more immediate "It looks fine, no editing needed!" Complete with smiley faces and wishing me luck, wanting to stay in touch and looking forward to working with me.
You would think this would make me happy, wouldn't you? These are ventures into a field where I have no professional training, no certificates to prove my worth. Compliments from the experts are my only reassurance that I'm making the right moves. And I have enough words of praise in that inbox to satisfy not just one, but several needy egos.
But none of them begin or end with confirmed offers of a full-time job doing what I love. And I am a little de-motivated now, despite going back and reading all those emails over. (Yes, how shallow and silly. I don't know of another way to convince myself I'm doing the right thing- do you?) So I am looking for motivation. To stay committed to this, to not just sell out and go back to a lab bench streaking out cultures and designing primers and doing PCRs.
Perhaps it is petty, to think that a few months of effort should yield such rich benefits so quickly. Perhaps the praise is merely well-intentioned and not meant. But why tell me to "continue writing because of your exceptional style" if you don't intend to give me the opportunity to do it?
4 comments:
I've been going back and forth, wondering what words to choose and use to uplift and motivate you. All I can say is, remind yourself of your passion and stay true to it. Or as my uncle says - you have already traveled half the road, it's going to be more of a hassle to retrace and go back ;). Stick with it.
It may not be practical in the short-term, but it'll be well worth your perseverance in the long-term. And all those words of encouragement are offered as reminders to you, to not give up in your specialized, competitive world :). Hold onto hope and continue doing your best, I'm sure you'll be rewarded soon :)
Thanks Nee :). Your uncle's advice is truly sensible.. going back is a lot more hassle and things become harder to justify!
Do persevere and keep writing, simply because you enjoy doing so.. I'm sure its a matter of time before the right opportunity comes your way! In my opinion, sustained efforts always yield results in time.. I would urge you to stick with it ! All the very best ! :-)
First of all, dont quit something you love simply because things haven't gone as well as you expected. Secondly, we all sometimes need people to tell us honestly how good or bad we are and in your case everyone has been telling u that you are good... and i am sure they mean what they say because i think so too. :) Its not petty or shallow to go back to things that makes you feel good. It is just human.
As for doing something you love, enjoy it when you can do it at your own pace and will, with no imposing demands and deadlines and then very soon when there will be assignments and deadlines to be adhered to, you will miss these times .
I keep telling myself - "This too shall pass... "
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