Invisible

In your rejection of me, I am once again the child that wasn’t wanted in the game. The odd one out- a little slower to race, a little more observant, a little easier to hurt; Maybe I was naïve in believing, like a child, that love solves all these issues. Will eight year old feelings never be assuaged by twenty-five’s accomplishments? Does love mean I will never feel unloved again?

Un-anchored by the ties of love, my spirit floats weightless, a little harder to touch, to understand. I am the wind, leaves dance night-time whirls within me. I linger over a lover’s soul, weighing it down with all my childhood grief. I see her pause and wonder over the sudden rush of tears my favorite poet inspired, but, unasked, I offer no explanation. Love might demand why I cry over these words, but tonight there are no questions, no reasons for my being. And so I am not, and I walk invisible through all my days and all my nights. Invisible, intangible, transparent- Soft, subtle, quiet, yet strong and bold, is what you call me. Always and mostly alone is what I call myself.